NEW DEFINITION
Cigarette
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one
end & a fool on the other.

Divorce
Future tense of marriage.

Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of
the Lecturer to the notes of the students without
passing through "the minds of either"

Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.

Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
defeated by feminine water power...

Dictionary
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.

Classic
A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.

Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.

Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more
than you actually do.

Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead.

Diplomat
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.

Optimist
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."

Miser
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.

Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when
you are early.

Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.

Doctor
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you
with his bills.