An elderly couple went to watch a contest for the strongest bull. After the contest they went to the 3rd prize bull's owner, wanting to know what his secret was.
The woman asked; "How do you make your bull so strong?" The owner said; "You have to make sure the bull makes love once a week." The woman turned to her husband and said;"See!" The old man was displeased but said nothing.
They then went to the
2nd prize bull's owner and the old woman asked the same question, to which
the owner replied; "You must make sure your bull makes love 2 or 3 times
a week." Again the woman turned to
her husband and said; "See! See!" The old man was annoyed but emained silent.
They then went to the
1st prize bull's owner and again the old woman asked the same question. The
reply was; "You must make sure your bull makes love at least once every
day." The woman turned to her husband
and said;"See! See! See!".
This time the old man
got angry and asked the owner; "But does your bull always make love to
the same cow?" The owner replied; "No, no, no. Many many cows."
The old man quickly turned to the old woman and
said; "See! See! See! See!"
:: Only Malaysians and Singaporeans can appreciate such jokes ::
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS: Maggi Mee.
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE: Traffic Jam.
NATIONAL CONDOM: None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack,any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.
NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION: Pineapple
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK: Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints they start swearing at everything...
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN): Food Poisoning.
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN): Menstrual Pain
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy,stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no water supply, going to watch "Santa Barbara", depress, no mood, etc...
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: None. Malaysian men never refuse sex. (oh ya??)
NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES: Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails we have another secret weapon; Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS: Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): Happy Hours.
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): The sight of a police road block. (;-o)
NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP: Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME: Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! On second thoughts, why bother pronouncing stupid French brands like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better,when the local mechanics say "Pew Jeot". When I was in school, Milo was always 'Mee Lo', now that I'm sophisticated, I say "My Lo". So don't be embarassed saying "Carry 4" when the Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as "rangutanne".
NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION: The Bra-less Tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes bouncing about on the streets.