Friends are like underwear, always a comfort.
Good friends are like condom always protecting.
Great friends are like viagra, lift you up when you are down.

The sad life of a penis:
"I only have one eye, my hair is a mess, my skin is wrinkly, my relatives are nuts, my neighbor's an asshole and my best friend 's a pussy."

Engineering. Why are WOMEN the best ENGINEERS in the WORLD?
Because they can DEMOLISH an ERECTION without damaging the STRUCTURE!

Don't make love to a policewoman; she will say "STOP".
Don't make love to a nurse, she will say "NEXT",
but make love to a bus conductor, she will say, "MASUK DALAM LAGI!!"

Man: I wanna buy condom
Salesgirl: May I hold your penis for size?
Give him a 'M'. Wait.......
Give him 'L'.. wait... give him 'XL'....
Oh shit.... Give me a TISSUE.....

An Arab interviewd at the US Checkpoint.
Officer: Your name please?
Arab Guy: Abdul Aziz
Officer: Sex?
Arab Guy: Six times a week.
Officer: I mean male or female?
Arab Guy: Doesn't matter, sometimes even camel.

Dracula asks God,
"May I reincarnate into a white angel with wings and still suck blood?"
God said "OK, I'll turn you into a KOTEX!"

Teacher: Why you rub oil on your head whenever I am teaching?
Student: Last night, I heard my mum told my dad, rub oil on the HEAD. If not, cannot go in.

British aged 90 married a 16 years old. He had baby every year and bragged that his engine was turbo. When the fifth was born, the nurse said, "Check engine oil, baby is black".

A man went to the hospital for a checkup. The doctor said he has penis cancer. He went home, upset, shouted at his wife with anger, "SEE, I TOLD YOU TO STOP SMOKING!"

Farmer ordered a MILKING MACHINE. Tried it on his penis and had a wonderful orgasm, but can't remove it.

So, he reads the manual and faints.


Teacher: Why do cow look depressed when being milked?

Student: Madam, if someone rubs and squeeze your breasts for 2 hours but don't fuck you, how would you feel?

Woman asked God to make the penis pretty. He said no way. Now it's ugly and you suck it. If it is pretty, you would eat it.

Finally doctors have found a cure to treat male SARS patients. 3 times a day, they are required to Shake, And Release Sperm.